Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!