Seal is watching TV
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.