SEAL AND PIGEON

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Seal and pigeon

#animal #funny #sleep #sleeping #walk #walking #angry #seal #mad #scream #relax #pigeon #animals #feature #activities #sports #emotion

New jokes

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!