Seal in the snow
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.