CAT PILLOWS

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Cat pillows on the bed

#cat #cats #animal #white #weird #kitty cat #kittens #funny #funny cat #sleep #sleeping #bed #lie #lying #animals #color #feature #activities #things

New jokes

Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.