Cat pillows on the bed
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.