Happy girl and boy
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.