Hungry of money
#money #funny #eat #eating #hungry #cartoon #simpsons #yellow #things #feature #food #celebrities #color
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.