DOG AND BART

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Dog and bart

#animal #funny #lick #licking #dog #crazy #cartoon #simpsons #ass #animals #feature #activities #things #celebrities #people

New jokes

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.