Hi I am grampa
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.