HOMER WEIRD EYES

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Homer weird eyes

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New jokes

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."