"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."