CAT ON THE TABLE

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Cat on the table

#cat #cats #animal #white #weird #look #looking #funny cat #walk #walking #strange #stand #hungry #animals #color #feature #activities #sports #food

New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'