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New jokes

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"