SALES IN GROCERY STORE

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Sales in grocery store

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New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.