Kitty cat sleeping in basket
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.