Kitty cat sleeping in basket
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.