AT THE DINERS CLUB

At the diners club

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New jokes

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.