"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!