I have new bags
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.