CAT WITH CANDLE

Cat playing with candle

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New jokes

Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.