Flying tom hanks
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"