I am not a smart man
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.