I miss you jenny
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.