On my way
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."