SHRIMPS

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Shrimps

#eat #eating #man #talking #concentrated #forrest gump #food #people #activities #emotion #celebrities

New jokes

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!