STUPID TV

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Stupid tv

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New jokes

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.