What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.