Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.