A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.