Elsa with anna
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.