Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."