MANNY FALLS IN LOVE

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Manny falls in love

#animal #snow #cartoon #lion #happy #love #cold #ice #ice age #animals #winter #things #emotion #celebrities

New jokes

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"