FANTASTIC

1628.gif

Fantastic

#animal #satisfied #cartoon #mouse #happy #excited #ice age #animals #emotion #things #celebrities

New jokes

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.