ELLIE MAMMOTH WILL BE THE MOMMY

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Ellie mammoth will be the mommy

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New jokes

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.