ANGRY SQUIRREL

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Angry squirrel

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New jokes

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.