CAT ON THE CARPET

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Cat on the carpet

#cat #cute #cats #animal #cute cat #kid #kitty cat #play #playing #funny #funny cat #hide #animals #feature #people #activities

New jokes

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.