HYPNOTIZED MONSTERS

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Hypnotized monsters

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New jokes

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!