Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!