Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'