Cat hiding in couch
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.