Nemo is watching
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.