TURTLE NEMO

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Turtle nemo

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New jokes

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.