You so totally rock Squirt
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!