Cat is lying with dog
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."