KITTY CAT

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Kitty cat raising paws

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New jokes

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!