CATS DOING THE MASSAGE

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Grey and white cats are doing the massage

#cat #cute #cats #animal #white #cute cat #funny #funny cat #lie #lying #massage #massages #tired #animals #feature #color #activities #emotion

New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.