Cats are standing behind the window
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."