Cats with water melon on head
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.