Cats are licking together
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.