Cats have fun with squirrel
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.