HYPNOTIZED CAT

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New jokes

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!