Cat is jumping from toilet
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.